Dragon Dark: The Sundering

Let there be, umm Us?
Meet the Misfits
Thalin Brokenbow Half-Elf Warlord mild schizophrenic
Lucious Tiefling Warlock has five feet of HOT tail
Alem Kor Eladrin Ranger with his Spider Companion, Xin
Morel Greyscale Dwarf Cleric of Melora wielder of oversized axes
Reks CrackedShell Dragonborn Fighter just generally oversized

The Story So Far

We join our merry band as they go to visit the Adventurer’s guild of MaidenVale, expecting to be formally disciplined due to a distinct lack of success. Thalin BrokenBow, the nominal leader of the band has been electing to not take the group to attack such groups as 20 ‘Well Armed Death Trolls in Magic Armour’.

The Adventurers Guild

The council formally indites the group for cowardice (“why are you afraid of dying, someone has to leave skeletons around for the real heroes”) yet Thalin cleverly describes the difficulties the group had (striking minions, bad provisions, map problems) to placate the dumbfounded council. The group is then given the opportunity to work for a mage called Vilarino the Tall in ShadowVale.

The Trip to ShadowVale

Traveling on three rickety wagons, taking merchant goods amongst the valleys of the cracked mountains. The caravan leader promises 80gp for guard services. After a week or so of boredom a set of rather incompetent Goblins attempt to raid the caravan. While they manage to stab Reks in the ankles, the Goblins are quickly dispatched. The caravan offers an extra 20g for the services and the Goblins are found to have 100gp and some Bloodthread armour.

To Vilarino’s Tower

From a quick rest in ShadowVale the group heads north to Vilarino’s tower. A rude Halfling is seen running up the path. Later the party comes to a bridge with a heavily armed Dwarf guarding it. Gimli, the owner of the bridge, indicates that the party ‘shall not pass’. Some rudeness ensures and the party goes to leave, until Reks hears the word “coward” and elects to school the Dwarf in Dragonborn diplomacy. Reks gets run over and the party begins to fight the Dwarf. In the end, Morel blasts Gimli off the cliff. The party finds a small chest in Gimli’s camp. It is trapped. However, Alem rises to the occasion and sets off the automated steam powered dart launcher, puncturing the entire party. In the chest they find 100gp and a Pact blade.

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The 2 towers

Vilarino, the Tall

Vilarino’s tower was a bit squat for a wizards tower, and is built straddling a crag some 4 meters across. Guarding his abode Vilarino employs martial halfings. Vilarino himself is a dwarf who stands some 5’5” tall (with a little help from some platform shoes).

He informed the party that adventures guild sent them here to perform a task for him. While his rival, Bereth the short, is out pillaging with his group of ‘Well Armed Death Trolls in Magic Armour’ they are to go to his tower and kidnap his mother. Bereths mother is rumor to be some kind of Were-Cougar. When questioned about their fee he is very frank and tells the party that the guild does not expect them to survive, so he had not considered it. He promises several hundred gold pieces and a Symbol of Melora.

Valarino mentions that he obtained the symbol when he encountered a cleric of Melora in his bedchambers quite suddenly one evening standing over him with an axe. He apologizes and acts confused as to what was the source of all the lightning. Morel mentions that it sounds like a fairly typical resignation request. At this point, Valarino notices that some of his sacrificial Hamsters are missing. Reks feigns ignorance and Xin stashes a small squirming sack. Valarino mentions that the title of “the tall” and “the short” are actually a bit of a joke, and that Bereth is actually a human who stands some 7’ tall.

The tower of Bereth the short

After an overnight in Shadowvale the group reaches the tower. Bereth’s tower is much taller then Valarino’s, and is positioned in front of a Crag with an exterior defensive wall.

As the party approaches Bereth’s tower they see a pair of guards in the courtyard of the tower keep. Xin is sent to scout up the walls as the party elects to bluff their way in. After knocking, it is discovered the Bereth chooses to employ humans and lizards to guard his abode. Inside are 2 armed guards, one of which has a pair of Spitting Drakes and an axe wielding berzerker on chain leads.

Luscious claims to have an appointment and is an old friend of Bereth and they are let inside. The berzerker notices Xin and attempts to attack, merely succeeding in having involuntary intercourse with the tower wall. With all the commotion one of the guards spots the spider and all heck breaks loose. Lizards spit corrosive venom all over the party members until Rek’s chops one in two. Alem and Xin work to resolve the berserker (the berzerkers rage broke his axe sending the head sailing into Rek’s leg, who returned the favor by sliding his greatsword into Alem). While the rest of the party worked through the rather well armed guards.

During this commotion, Thalin spots a small group (including a rather stout woman) high tailing it down the rock spur that abuts the tower (at about the 3rd story).

After the blood bath they find 60gp and some Healing potions.

Is it a trap, or a Blender

With caution the party goes to work their way up to the third story, hoping to find the escape door through to the back. As they charge up to the 2nd floor landing they find a locked double door. As Alem inspects the door, he notices that the entire party are standing on a deadfall trap. Any weight removed from the trap will cause the floor to collapse. Rather than wait for the door to open, Rek’s uses Morel’s lock pick (he chops the lock out of the door with an axe) to delicately open the door. A plan is hatched as the party notices that the door is far too small to get through all at once. Two ropes were tied through the hinges of the door, allowing Alem and Lucious to catch themselves while Thalin and Reks display their athleticism and leap through the door on the count of 3 (Rek’s to carry Morel).
1
2
3, Thalin Jumps
Go, Reks Jumps

With that little bit of miss communication, Rek’s and Morel slam into the lip of the rather deep pit that opens while Thalin sails through the door and the others snap to the end of their rope. At this point the party is able to look down to see huge whirling brass blades waiting below to puree any unwanted visitors.

Alem bravely and successfully grabs Morel and Reks as they are about to fall to their demise. The slender Eladrin made one slight miscalculation by neglecting Reks’ hefty 345lb frame and Morel’s 220lb pudginess, and promptly drops Morel into the blender. A whirlwind of activity occurs which includes:
  • Morel being repeatedly chopped
  • Alem almost being ripped in two by Rek’s efforts to pull Morel out.
  • Morel being rescued (by beard), only to find he was too hurt to hold on to a rope.
  • Morel being chopped up some more.
  • Morel being hauled to safety by Thalin, Alem and Lucious
  • Reks becoming tired and falling into the blades.
  • Reks desperately hopping up and spread-eagling himself across the pit.
  • Alem looping a safety rope around Rek’s… yes around his neck.
  • Alem, Lucious, Thalin and Morel hauling Rek’s up by a rope tied around his neck.
  • Rek’s being too heavy for the exhausted party to lift, especially with him gargling and thrashing.
  • Lucious leaping down with another rope to try and keep Rek’s from being hanged, and promptly falling into the blades.
  • Rek’s, grabbing Lucious (near dead) the extra rope and finally managing to get out of the pit.

For those paying attention, Thalin was completely unharmed during this process. And decided to make himself scarce while Lucious was resuscitated, Rek’s was healed and Alem’s hernias were looked after and given names. Lets not even talk about Morel… he looked like a week dead squirrel.

What is it with mages and traps

After escaping the whirling blades of magnetism the group continues up the tower to another door and landing. Alem proudly pronounces the door trap free and Thalin impatiently kicks the door open and was promptly run through by two crossbow bolts.

After sorting out the trap, and pulling bolts out of Thalin’s chest the party can see a path that runs down the spine of the crag towards where Bereth’s mom was last seen running.

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Bereth's Back Cave

Tunnel Entrance

Following the crag, as it winds up a shallow cliff face, Morel notices a tunnel entrance at the end of the path and makes note that, while it may have been natural at one time it has most certainly been excavated. Morel then continues to make several comments about the workmanship and how it looks as if it was dug out by someone who had no idea how to dig a hole, like Elves.

The floor is covered with a semi-luminescent fungi that sticks to ones legs which seem to illuminate the way fairly well making torch light unnecessary. Xin proves that with great power comes great responsibility and decides that walking on the ceiling means she won’t be cleaning her Spinnerets later.

Coming to a bend in the Tunnel the party hears chanting. Xin does a quick scout and reports 5 people around the corner. The party decides to sneak up and ambush the small party. Rex draws his sword and whacks the top off a Stalagmite by accident, Morel gets startled by this and drops the blade of his axe to the ground making sure that whom ever is around he corner knows that guests have arrived.

An immediate charge is called for, when the party rounds the corner there is a complete lack of surprise for everyone involved, after a brief introduction a quick battle ensues.

Knock Knock

Coming into the room there are a couple of men at arms guarding a mage as he frantically attempts an incantation targeted at a large door, the party could only assume this is an attempt to protect Bereth’s mother from harm. The party engages the guards, trying to reach the mage before the spell is finished.

Upon completing the spell the room is lit with a blinding light. The mage then unleashes chain lightning on the party while standing next to several hundred pounds of brass, turning himself into a lightning rod. The fight ends quickly and the party finds 60gp and a Flaming Long sword

She was just here

The Wizard managed to cast mage lock on the door. After some inspection the players find that the lock is actually a grid that is 3×3 and is sub sectioned into 9 3×3 with symbols inside.

(ASIDE)
At this point the GM called for dinner and presented the players with a Seduko puzzle to solve in order to “Pick the Lock”
(END)

Attempting to solve the puzzle Alem manages to make an error and several Skeletons rise from the ground. The party makes short work of them but one of the Undead manages to give Alem a vicious stab for his error.

Opening the door the party finds a small “Panic Room”. It’s completely empty save for a healing potion, a few hamsters and a tunnel that has been dig into the back wall behind one of the desks.

That’s OUR kidnap victim, thank you very much

Crawling (or in Morels case stooping) through the tunnel single file the party comes to a room that contains a small frozen lake. Jutting out over top of the surface is a platform that contains one bound and gagged Bereths Mother and a Shaman. Once again, chanting is going on. Watching the mage are 15 Kobolds.

The players rush into the room and start making minced Kobold surprise. Xin does some accidental ice skating. Everyone rushes except Lucious, who trips and falls down and holds up Reks, who was behind Lucious. Reks is upset at his lack of contribution to the fight and heaves Lucious in front of him.

After the party kills off many of the Kobolds, Alem does a short teleport and cuts down the shaman. He then Hog ties Bereths mother and starts to walk away.

Dragon?

At this point the party notices that the shaman blood and all that Kobold iccor is all dribbling down to the frozen lack … and swirling around.

Lucious concludes “This is not natural”.

At this point a small White Dragon smashes up through the ice revealing that below the frozen lake is actually a portal of some kind. During the fight Rek’s manages to break his sword.

After defeating the Wyrm the creature seems to dissipate, like an illusion. However on the ground there are Dragon scales and blood and frost to show that this was indeed not the case.

The Party notices that due to the dragons breath attack, Bereth’s mother is near Hypothermia. Morel immediately orders Reks and Thalin to remove their clothing and sandwich her.

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Thus Ends chapter 1

Exit the cave

After a brief warming period the party proceeded to cart Bereth’s mother away. She put up a bit of a struggle until she saw Thalin, at which point she started to purr. The party feared her turning into a WereCougar and found a rug to wrap her in. They spent a brief overnight in Shadowvale with Thalin consuming a great deal of time and wine with the Inns female staff and the Innkeepers wife.

It’s hard to be a Wizard of Wiz

As the party approached Valarino’s tower they notice smoke rising. As they come to the path up to the bridge they see a group of well armed and large humanoids leaving on horseback down towards Bereth’s tower. Around the bridge they find some size 27 shoe prints on top of a Halfling.

Outside of Valarino’s tower they find many slaughtered Halflings and a great deal of structural damage to the outer wall. They also find Gimli sporting 2 broken arms, locked in combat with an equally well off Berzerker.

After putting the Berzerker out of it’s misery they questioned Gimli as to the events. Gimli is rather uncertain about the specifics and says that it all happened so fast he really didn’t know. He says that Valarino should be inside as he was defending them with his magic.

Good reasons not to mess with a wizards mother

Inside the tower the party finds Valarino, tied to his throne with a sack over his head. Alem notices a great deal of hair lying around on the floor and stops Morel just as he was about to unmask the wizard.

Valarino tells the party that he was attacked by Bereth. When presented with Bereth’s mother Valarino instructs the party to take her up to a room on the second floor. He then pays the party 500gp for their efforts and gives them a +2 Symbol of Divinity.

But Dragons don’t exist

The party tells Valarino about what they went through capturing Bereth’s mother. They go into GREAT detail about the incident with the dragon, to which Valarino is understandably skeptical. When the party produces one of the Dragon scales Valarino is so shocked he rips of his hood. This reveals that Bereth has shaved him completely bald (even eyebrows)and applied some kind of paste to his skin. He has also tattooed “I make bad decisions” on the back of his head in Dwarvish.

Valarino explains that the best person to talk to about Dragons is the high priest of the four dragons, Mindrathis. He offers the group a carriage to take them there as it is several weeks away on foot.

Caravans just attract Goblins

The group catches a carriage in Shadowvale. Several days out they are attacked by a group of a dozen mildly incompetent Goblins. They manage to spook the horses and the driver fails to retain control, crashing the carriage on it’s side and dumping the party into an uncomfortable pile.

After the Goblins are dealt with the carriage driver makes a miraculous and sudden appearance, having remained unnoticed and untouched throughout the conflict. Mistaking him for a Goblin, Morel strikes him with his axe, Rex hacks him with this Sword, Thalin stabs him and lights him on fire, Alem shoots him with his Bow and Luscious blasts his head off.

After a couple of days of walking the party arrives at Maiden Vale. Thalin stops in at the Adventures guild and quickly discovers they have been put on the “Killed in a Grizzly Fashion” list and are assumed dead, again. Alem decides that in the spirit of communication and correction of this oversight it would be best to mark his territory and defecates in a corner of the main hall.

Jungle Fever

They board another carriage which (after about 10 days of travel) drops the party off at a fork in the road, a couple days walk from the temple through jungle. At night fall, the party makes camp and assigns a watch order. EVERYONE then proceeds to fall into a deep and restful sleep.

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Chapter 2

Ambushed, what a surprise

During Alems watch, the party is ambushed by Kobols with Guard Drakes. Alem almost slips back into the Fey realms but Morel snaps him out of it. Morel also does some skin grafts on Rex’s nose which had been chewed on viciously by a Guard Drake.

At one point, Thalin thrusts his flaming sword into Morels beard killing a drake that has attached itself to him and burning a hole. Luscious, addled by sleep, repeatedly shoots Morel believing him to be Kobol of some variety.

After the fight the party finds 200gp, a 100gp Sapphire and some +2 Leather Armour.

Day breaks

While the Drake steaks are simmering, Alem notices an Elf watching the party from about 40 yards away in the grass. Calling him out he greats his “cousin”. The elf is fairly rude and mentions that he is looking for a band of goblins that attacked a Caravan outside of Maidenvale. The arrogantly proclaims that the group owes him a bounty, Morel responds that he should keep a closer leash on his property.

Charging, the group the elf rips open Alems belly. 2 Wolves and 2 other hidden archers attack. Lucsious is enraged at this behaviour and turns, the elf into a grease stain so fast it made Rex wince. After the fight the party finds a local map of the area. There is a cave marked as belonging to the Toe Clan to the west and a building marked as Ancient temple of the four dragons with spa to the south.

The party continues south

Going to the temple

The group notices the tops of buildings through gaps in the jungle for about 5 hours, prior to reaching the temple walls. Inside there is a city scape of Kobolds, all dressed in clothing of various sorts and engaged in normal city activities. The buildings consist of 5 Pyramids, 4 Pyramids arranged around a large central on (One of the 4 smaller Pyramids has been broken). The central pyramid is at least 60 meters tall with a flat area on the top and a small house.

Climbing the Pyramid they find an Elandril sitting in front of an alter. He introduces himself as Mindrathis and says he has had the job of high priest since the last high priest fell out of favor with the Dragons. Morel and Alem notice a person shaped etching on the stones close to the Altar.

Thalin explains their encounter with a dragon, to which Mindrathis laughs and says it is impossible. Morel produces a dragon scale, while surprised Mindrathis is not impressed and throws it onto the Altar.

The resulting explosion shocks everyone and knocks Alem off the side of the Pyramid. After a short and painful fall he teleports back to the top. At this time Mindrathis notices that Morel is a cleric and very abruptly demands that he gets the hell out of his temple.

But but .. Dragons don`t exist

Walking around the city Morel notices that most of the Kobols running to the NE towards the broken Pyramid, and decides to follow. A very large Black Dragon flies in and lands on the fourth, damaged Pyramid and proceeds to throw rocks and vaporise about 100 Kobols before flying off. Mendarthis, being a perfectly reasonable high priest of the 4 dragons and one of the last living creatures to lay eyes on a dragon in about a thousand years, passes out.

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Dragon Hijinks

I thought you said dragons don’t exist

Mithrandis suspects that the dragon hey just saw and the dragon the party fought are actually from other realms. The 4 great dragons are definitely still sleeping. He thinks the reason the one the party fought seemed to dissolve is that the dragons need time to adapt to our realm. The one they just saw has likely been here longer and has adjusted. He fears what this could do to the sleeping dragons as they may feel the presence of these upstarts and wake up … unhappy.

He hijacks the party and skilfully convinces Thalin that the party needs to hut down that dragon and bring him it’s brain and/or heart (but preferably the brain). He suggests asking the Broken Toe goblin tribe where the dragon is because it has enlisted the aid of many Kobolds and has bee wiping them out quite successfully.

Hi provides Rex’s with a suit of Mithril Chainmail +1 and the party feasts on Kobols cuisine that evening. The next morning the party sets out to the east.

It’s War … but just a small one

After travelling for several days the party crests a small rise and sees a huge melee occurring. Several miles off a massive group of Kobolds and Goblins are fighting. It’s very clear that the Goblins have the upper hand, until a large black reptilian head comes out of the nearby swamp and lays waste to the Goblins.

The decides that the situation is basically over and continues east.

The Mighty Kobold

Passing through the swamp the party followed ridges that kept them from having to wade through the muck. A couple more days after they passed the war zone they head the sounds of shouting.

About 20 Goblins came charging towards the party, being chased by a single Kobold. The party braced themselves and made short work of the Goblins, and Kobold. They took one of the Goblins captive and Thalin found out that on the “Boss man” knew where the Kobolds were coming from. So they had the goblin lead them back to his cave. Upon arrival they dropped him in, breaking his neck.

A Goblin Warren

The party went quietly through the tunnel. It was fairly short and lead to a reasonably sized room. There were many goblins there, most were dead close enough that it wouldn’t be long. Around a fire were a handful of ok goblins, a shaman and one fairly sizable Goblin with a big axe.

Luscious turns the shaman into a charred cinder and the party takes care of the other other goblins. Alem decides to slaughter the large Goblin, in the interest of taking prisoners.

Morel uses his healing skills to stabilise the large goblin. The party finds some Exalted Chainmail +1 and a suit of Chainmail Armour of Exploits +1.

Thalin interrogates the goblin and convinces him that they are going to wipe out the Kobolds that have been menacing them (and the nasty Fae Crocodile that keeps showing up).

The goblin leads them through the swamp for about a day to a larger cavern. The party drops him in, breaking his neck.

What’s this, another warren

The party continues into the cave, past the broken corpse of the Goblin. As the party advances, Thalin gets shot with an arrow out of the darkness. A Kobol archer runs down the tunnel. The party pursues and falls into a pit full of rats.

The rats and Kobold archers are dealt with but in the fight one ff the rats bites Morel, giving him a fever. After the fight the party takes a bit of a rest while Morel recovers.

That’s an interesting way to knock

Continuing further the party finds a medium sized cavers with a large Iron door. Alem notices a hidden door off to one side. Rex decides to open it by ripping it off it’s hinges, surprising the hell out of 2 bugbears behind it.

One of the bugbears produces some Piano wire and gets Rex into a choke hold. In an attempt to break the grip Alem tries to ram his sword through Rex’s gut in order to reach the bugbears spleen.

The other bugbear runs to the large door and opens it, letting out the Cave bear behind it. After the bears are all dealt with they find a goblin huddled and shivering under a blanket. He explains that he is the chief of the Broken Toe tribe and asks for a drink. Thalin hands him a bottle that was a short distance away and demands directions to the Kobolds.

The Chief draws a crude map and dies from the Arsenic. There is 400Gp hidden in under the Kobold.

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The trouble with Dwarves

The Greyscales

After dealing with the fight and having a rest the party leaves the cave.

On the way out they run into a group of heavily armed and armoured dwarves. Morel notices that the crest on their shields and breast plates belongs to the Greyscales. Morel is known to the dwarves as an/the ex-greyscale. Some heated words are exchanged between the 2 groups involving various aspect of the others illegitimate family trees. Morel finds out that the group are hired mercenaries and have been contract to wipe out the Broken Toe goblins. The party points them in the direction of the chief.

Pulled Pork BBQ

After exiting the cave, every member of the party is irked at the group of dwarves. Several trees are collapsed over the entrance and set on fire.

The party spends the night and stokes the fire. Colourful language is heard after about a hour but nothing more.

In the morning, more wood is added to the party continues through swamp.

Crocodile Hunter

Continuing thru the swamp the party notices a large alligator in the water. Alem also notices that there are no sounds of birds or fish and warns the party to be wary of an ambush.

A hidden lizard man shoots Morel with a blow-dart, laced with the Crocodile pheromones. Several snakes and another lizardman attack the party. The alligator catches the scent of pheromones and charges Morel. He gets hold him in his jaws, goes into the water and proceeds to start doing a series of death rolls.

After the enemies are dispatched Morel is left in open water and does everything in his power to drown before he can be rescued. Despite his best efforts the party is able to come to his aid.

After this, Morel decides it would be good to take a rest on a rock. Rexs spends the next 15 minutes turning the dead Lizardmans ribcage into a pulpy mess, muttering something about an inferior breed. Morel notices that the rock is not a rock but an ancient altar. It’s an altar to one of the 4 great Dragons, specifically Blightwing the Torturer.

The party continues through the swamp, coming to a bit of a ridge. They spend some time drying their boots.

The swarm

While drying their boots Alem notices a group of birds suddenly fly out of the brush. He takes an arrow, dabs some oil on it, ignites it and fires into the brush.

A group of approximately 40 Kobolds charge the party. After some stiff negotiation by an assassin who was acting on behalf of the Kobolds the party decided it wasn’t in their best interest to take a dirt nap today successfully renegotiated their contracts.

Looting the corpses reveals 3 Healing potions, 125Gp and 350Gp worth of jewlery

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The trouble with Dwarves, part 2

Don’t say the “D” word

After that rumble, the party finds a raft that the Kobolds used to get across the swamp. Through the swamp they can make out another dry-ish outcropping of land and, after a brief rest, press onwards.

Several hours of trudging through pond scum brings them to the shores. Climbing out of he water they notice a Kobold, knelt in prayer. Morel spies a crocodile and a Lizardman waiting in ambush and warns everyone. Thankfully the pheromones have washed off at this point so Morel is not immediately marked as a rival for territory.

Worn too exhaustion the party barley manages to deal with the Crocodile an d Lizardman shaman before the Black dragon shows up.

Respect that which can eat you

The black dragon introduces himself as “Slithis” and gently points out the rather enormous army of Kobols lurking in the water. Alem decides it would be prudent to antagonise the dragon somewhat, the rest of the party keeps their distance from him.

Slithis knows that the party has been sent to carve out his heart and brains and claims to be quite attached to them and unwilling to give them up at this juncture. Alem inquires as to why he is in our dimension and the dragon explains that since the 4 great dragons are sleeping there is a vacuum here. So it’s not so much of a effort to travel, but a willingness to let yourself be pulled in.

Slithis says that while the stodgy old priest sent them to recover the heart and/or brains o a dragon, but that they need not be his. He says that another dragon has setup his lair close by. He claims to be rather busy subjugating this area and does not have the time to deal with this threat at the moment.

Alem demands why they should be conscripted to do his bidding, the party edges further away from him. Slithis explains that 2 dragons in close proximity, trying to establish their hordes, can put quite a strain on the local resources. Morel agrees and has a short discussion with the dragon on the economics of a contained area. Slithis goes on to explain that would be quite happy to unleash his Kobold horde upon the group is they still desire to remove his vital organs.

Thalin shuts up Alem and agrees to the terms. He also inquires if the dragon has anything that may aid them in their fight with this dragon. Slithis trades the gems he can smell on the party for a Banner of Might. He provides the party with a Kobold to guide them in the ruff direction of the other dragons lair, after he carves a map into his back.

It’s hard to keep a paid Mercenary down

After walking through more swamp for about half a day the party comes to low lieing hills that prove to be significantly drier.

Up a rise they see a group of mildly singed dwarves. The dwarves inform Morel that they have now been contracted by 3 separate parties to kill him and his party
The chief of the broken toe tribe (who they were able to resurrect)
The dragon who lives in these hills
And the secretary of the Greyscales bank (who still had bloodstains in her favourite teddy)

Morel comments that their family trees have apparently been heavily pruned in that past and that they likely had no chest hairs for the fire to have burned. Rex’s charges. Shortly after the battle starts a Gnome pops out of nowhere ad deposits a chain around Morels neck. Morel recognises his as a standard debt collection device, which requires 1Gp to be inserted every few seconds or it will detonate.

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Dragons are so civil

A debt is a terrible thing to waste

After the mop up operations are completed, Alem takes a look at the device around Morels neck. Morel indicates that the device will fall off on it’s own after enough gold has been deposited. After explaining he has no debt beyond the fact that horse blood is impossible to get out of satin sheets, lingerie and imported rugs he says the amount required to make it come off without detonating would likely be insane.

53 GP and some careful work later Alem has the device removed. Morel put the device into his backpack.

On the bodies the party discovers a + 2 Craghammer of Pinning, and a + 2 Dynamic Weapon.

My god, it’s full of Hicks

At this point they have given their walking map a name, George. Following George through the foothills on the outskirts of the swamp the party sees the tops of some buildings through the trees. Rex notices an Arrow has suddenly decided to lodge itself in his chest.

The party sees what looks like a Human Sentry frantically trying to load his bow. Rex decides that the diplomatic approach is always best and charges, screaming at the top of his lungs and waving his Hammer, to aid in establishing a rapport.

Morel uses Command and Rex falls to the ground. Alem puts an arrow in the tree a couple inches from the Sentries head and orders him to surrender.

The Sentry is very apologetic and asks why the Adventurers are travel with a Lizardman? Rex makes a noise like a Bear in mating season and informs the human of his error and that he is, in fact, a Dragon borne. The Sentry takes the party to town and introduces them to the Mayor who asks what the party is doing with a Lizardman.

The town is very put out as Rex crushes the mayor’s skull. Thalin steps forth and convinces the townsfolk that in retribution for this misunderstanding he would personally go through the effort of repopulating the town. Half of the town immediately agrees and a queue is formed at the inn. The other half of the town is left rather stunned as to what just occurred.

The party is directed to the Blacksmith who is second in command after the late Mayor. The party introduces their map (George) and inquire as to the proper directions. The smith is impressed at the accuracy of the map but makes a few corrections and alterations.

He then looks at Alem and asks
“What are you? Some kind of special elf?”

The third in line for control of the Town is the inn keepers wife, currently indisposed and waiting in line. The party decides to rest in the smithy as the inn is still far too noisy.

This place is hell

Sometime around 2am a suit of infernal armour comes wandering into the Smithy and starts banging away on the anvil. After a few minutes it turns, walks to the door, and waves for Lucious to follow him.

Very confused he does so, and the party follows. The Armour leads them to an old stone church, and beckons them inside. At the far side is a beautiful woman dressed in s tragically placed small patches of cloth with a mean looking dog. She greets Lucious and asks him to come over and has a short discussion with him about his infernal bargain and how they can rule this plain.

Morel realises she is, in fact, a Succubus and screams at Lucious who responds
“Will she now?”
After a long and bloody battle that resulted in a great deal of confusion, the party licks their wounds and manages to stop Morel from bleeding to death (due to being hit repeatedly by Rexs hammer). The discover a Cloak of the walking wounded. Morel sanctifies the church in the name of Melora and they burn it to the ground.

A few less Hicks never hurt anyone

After sleeping the rest of the night in the smithy the party makes ready to leave in the Morning.

Stepping out of the smith they hear the cry “My god we’re being attacked by Lizardmen”. Rex, Alem and Morels brains simultaneously snap and they set about purging the local gene pool of less then desirable genetic material. Lucious goes back to bed. Thalin goes back to the inn.

Around noon the party sets out with a fresh bag of meat for George, who is well fed for the first time in days.

I never did catch his name

As they come to a narrow part on the path a Greyish Dragon swoops down out of the sky and lands about 50 feet upwards overlooking the party an roars. The Party is well and truly intimidated. George manages to both Faint and release his bowels at the same time (a feat of dexterity and co-ordination that Kobolds usually reserve for the end of their lives).

Alem once again shows his lack of tack and has terse words with the dragon. The dragon suggests that the party continue along the path and make an appointment to meet him with his social secretary, and flies off.

Secretaries need to cut loose sometimes

Up the path the party comes to a plateau with a narrow stone bridge. On the other side they can see 2 Trolls having fun and hitting each other with Axes. They also have a swarm of snakes as some kind of pet/assistant

The parties ask the trolls if they could be directed to the Dragons secretaries. At this point the trolls roar and charge, screaming that they are in fact social co-coordinators and are much more then pencil pushing secretarial staff.

After pushing the swarm over the cliff Morel discovers that there is a magic mist that teleports people to the middle of the bridge shortly after they fall off. The party is fairly disturbed as Morel repeatedly steps off the edge only to re-appear in the middle of the bridge several seconds later.

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One less dragon is a good thing

An Eladrin Saf-T bridge

After licking their wounds the party sets up a hidden camp by the cliff on the far side of the bridge. Alem inspects the bridge some more and discovers that it’s actually of Eladrin manufacture and is a SAF-T bridge. Designed so that living things can’t fall off.

The troll carcasses are tossed over the edge after being searched to reveal 50gp and 4 large chunks of Jade which Morel pockets. Alem also notices that Xin has taken to jumping 10 meters at a time and has wondered off. So he goes to track her down.

Yes, but is is Safe?

Waiting for Alem to return the party camps out. As night falls a watch rotation is setup. Around midnight a group of drakes wanders down the path.

The party springs from their covers and very quickly overpowers them. As the dust settles Xin lands of Morel who find that she is now about the size of a Bull Mastiff. Alem returns shortly after.

You take the High road and we’ll have a traffic jam

When morning comes around the party heads up the trail. Close to the top they start to see what looks like and old weather worn building at the summit.

Coming down the trail they run into a very haggard looking dwarf with a fully loaded mule taking up most of the trail. Morel notices that packs have the Greyscale logo. Morel has some short words and finds that this dwarf was employed at double time and a half to work overtime and “install some plumbing and do mechanical work”. Part way into the conversation the dwarf falls unconscious (due to sleep deprivation) and the party continues on after pushing the mule up to a landing.

It’ll cut a Warlock to ribbons and still slice a tomato

Reaching the summit the part comes to a very pristine (and new) looking door. Morel wraps it with his Axe and comments that the locking mechanism (which just broke) was clearly of inferior craftsmanship. Rex rips the doors of the hinges. Inside the room is nothing but some skeletons on the floor. Entering partway several undead and a mechanical apparatus resembling a whirling dervish erupts from the ground.

Lucious blows a Wight back to the land of the dead and then gets most of his intestines splayed across 2 meters of wall as the mechanical apparatus opens him up. After dealing with this and the rest of the undead, his insides are returned to him.

Holy

Up a ramp and around the corner the party runs into a group of humans and an Avenging angel. The angel says that it’s job is to prevent them from reaching his summoner. Thalin says “That’s fine we’re just here to kill the dragon” at which point the angel Charges. It’s existence is ended quickly by Morels Axe and the humans are also cut down.

Alem listens at the door beyond the angel and only hear the sound of dripping water. Rex opens the door to an open hallway. As the party proceeds down, they wall to their backs breaks open and they are swept along. Alem and Lucious notice a hallway leading up, the rest of the party continue along. At the end of the hall is a sunken room with a couple of raised platforms. Alem trails a rope for other party members to grab, which goes unnoticed.

Sneaking up on a Dragon, how to/not

Lucious continues up the hallway to find the Iron dragon looking down into the other room after Morel, Rex and Thalin tumble in. Lucious takes the dragon by surprise and does a great deal of harm before being torn open. Morel uses “Command” to force the dragon to the ground. Rex’s uses his Hammer of Pinning to keep it there as the brains and hart are removed without permission. Lucious’s insides are once again returned to their proper location.

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